Sex and Tampa Bay

Do you live in the Tampa Bay area and want to try out for Wheel of Fortune? Or maybe you’re just looking for something free to do in Tampa Bay this weekend. Either way, the Wheelmobile is going to be at Derby Lane tonight and tomorrow (3/21 and 3/22) from 5pm-9pm. They’ll be picking people from the crowd to come play a simulated game with real prizes.

Just don’t be like these guys

Celebrate the 1st Day of Spring with free Italian Ice at Rita’s Italian Ice.

 Here are the the participating locations in Tampa Bay:

101 Court St. in Clearwater, FL 33756, 727-446-3023.
13147 86th Ave. N. in Seminole, FL 33776, 727-393-6740.
1001 W. Bay Dr. in Largo, FL 33770, 727-581-0680.
7065 Coastal Blvd. in Spring Hill, FL 34613, 352-592-4554.
8528 Ridge Road in New Port Richey, FL 34654, 727-841-7482.

Hello to everyone who is here after searching for more info on MJ’s lawsuit against Bubba. After reading the full lawsuit and consulting with my lawyer friends, I think I have a grasp on what is going on. Not that is makes it any less retarded. But, here are the facts in a handy, dandy FAQ format.

Q: What did Bubba say that was so terrible?

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I’ve been crazy busy this week as I look to take this blog to bigger and better things. Trust Me — It is exciting! But when I heard that MJ (the MJ Morning Show) is suing Bubba (Bubba the Love Sponge Show) for defamation I had to talk about it.

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So, I folded and started up with eHarmony again. What can I say? I’m a masochist. But, once again, I’m struck by how TERRIBLE the profiles are for the guys. There’s always the chance that these guys are actually really great people, but their profiles make them seem as interesting as C-SPAN Canada.

In the interest of helping romance, here are some tips for the guys on how to write an eHarmony profile that won’t get closed.

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5 Days and $50 is your guide to fun things going on in Tampa Bay during the week that will cost you less than $50, if you were to do one each day. These are the best free and cheap events in the Tampa By area, picked especially for young professionals. Think of it as Tampa Bay on $10 a day!

Monday 3/17

Stay Safe on St. Patrick’s Day

I’m not stupid. I know that most of you are going to be going out and getting your Irish up on Monday. But for those people who have to work Tuesday, or just aren’t into the drinking thing, it’s probably best to stay off the roads and stay safe. So, head on over to Blockbuster and rent a movie that fits your mood.

Looking for something sexy but classy? Lust/Caution is a foreign film (classy) about a female spy who must seduce a government official (sexy) who’s sexual needs cross over into the kinky (kinky!). Rated NC-17 because of the graphic sex scenes, but directed by Brokeback auteur Ang Lee. Porn with a plot!

Want a romantic comedy without the romance? Modern Romance was made in 1981 but it still rings completely true. Albert Brooks plays a neurotic man who is dating a woman who may be his soulmate, or someone totally wrong for him. Perfectly captures the mess that is dating, love, and romance.

Need an suspense film that doesn’t seem totally fake? Michael Clayton was nominated for Best Picture and it was well deserved. This corporate thriller doesn’t have car chase or action scenes, but focuses on the high drama of real life. Where people can destroy one another far better with exposed secrets than with karate chops. Bonus: George Clooney is so sexy you want to put the dvd on pause and make out with the tv screen.

Looking for a feel good comedy? Dan in Real Life is like hot cocoa. Warm and sweet! Steve Carell plays a father of 3 girls who writes an advice column but could use some help in his personal life. His kids don’t respect him. He has given u on love after the death of his wife. At least until a chance meeting with a woman gives him hope… and huge complications. Just a very sweet, very realistic movie.

But whatever you choose to do Monday, stay safe. The rest of this week’s 5 Days and $50 is after the cut.

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I’m not a drinker. I come from a family of alcoholics (our family tree is watered with Vodka) and so I just don’t get the excitement around St. Patrick’s Day. So, me writing up a list of events for it would be like the Pope writing a sex advice guide. We could do the job, but it probably woudn’t be very accurate.

So, I’ll hand things off to the people at City Guide to give you the goods on the green for that day.

Just don’t drink and drive. Try not to be out on the roads too much, because you can bet that there will be some people out there who don’t take that advice.

In the meantime, enjoy this St. Patrick’s themed music video I made last year for a contest.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=2nyLan43v20]

P.S. I didn’t win. I know, you’re shocked!

The Sunscreen Film Festival is being held next week in St. Petersburg. This festival features a number of locally made films as well as indies and shorts. Here are the ones that look most interesting.

Action! Horror! Science Fiction!
A number of short films in the genre tradition including “The Seed” about a homeless veteran who looks crazy on the outside, but is really fighting a war against invisible enemies.

The Art of Pain
A man lacking inspiration in his life after experiencing a lesson in pain at the hands of Ninjas. I’m always a sucker for absurd ideas that set themselves in the real world and this seems to fit the bill.

Broke Sky
This moody Texas tale is a Southwest Noir featuring two animal disposal workers who find a dead body. It looks like it captures the modern morality tale of No Country for Old Men or A Simple Plan.

Raiders of the Lost Arc: The Adaptation
Three boys spent seven years (from 1982-1989) making their own version of Raiders of the Lost Arc. An example of homemade moviemaking at it’s best, the result is pretty much everything “Be Kind, Rewind” promised in the trailer and didn’t deliver.

Screw Cupid
Bad dates, broken hearts, and the hope of romance… this world premier by Florida Native Sanjeev Sirpal seems like the perfect companion for our sucky dating life.

Fema City
A documentary about the people left in FEMA camps after Hurricane Charley. Considering that the storm was on track to hit Tampa Bay before that last minute swerve, this could very easily have been a story about us. And it still could as we enter another Hurricane Season.

Strong Women and Why They Matter
This block of short films and documentaries focus on women who never give up, don’t listen to society, and make their own path. One quibble: why is this only being shown at noon on Friday? That when most modern women are still at work!

Get the full scoop on the Sunscreen Film Festival (and buy your tickets) at the official website.

It’s been over a year since the ex and I talked. As most of you know, things ended sort of badly. I’ve tried to talk to him in the last year, but have been ignored.

Which is probably for the best since I’m addicted to him like Jeff Conway is to pain pills.

But here’s the sitch: those twisters in Atlanta touched down in his neighborhood. And I really want to know if he’s okay. If his house is okay. If the Angel Season One DVD set that he never returned is okay. We were together for 7 years. I do like the idea of him still existing in the world.

I’v sent out some feelers for info through mutual friends. But part of me want to call him. Just to ask if everything is okay. But I’m not sure that’s the best move. If things are okay then the call is pointless. If his house was hit by a tree the last thing he probably wants it to hear from the person her wated most of his 20’s with.

On the other hand, if a hurricane hit Tampa Bay, I would sort of want him to check up on me. But I’m still in love with him, while he has erased all feelings for me from his robot memory.

Not sure. I’ll need to call an emergency meeting of the girls for a survey. Feel free to let me know what you think. I’m not above asking advice from strangers on the internet who found this blog while looking for pictures of women being peed on. (Sorry to disappoint you, I don’t have any of those).

I’m watching Oprah. I know, how fucking cliche can you get. But it’s pouring outside, I’m grandma sitting, and the girls are all off having a life. So, it’s me and Oprah.

It’s all about betrayed wives and those who have dated married men. It’s not Springer or anything. But a look at both sides of this issue. And watching it I just get more and more upset at those XY’s out there. The ones who place us into this position by deciding to go outside the marriage.

Oh, I know women cheat too. And they shouldn’t. There is no excuse for it. But when women cheat it tends not to be these long romances. They don’t last for seven years of stringing someone along and making them promises your don’t intend to keep.

When men cheat it’s this strange romantic cheating of living a life of new romance and possibilities with the other woman while going home every night to a comfort of a wife. And telling them both that you love them. And meaning it.

Men are able to compartmentalize these things in ways most women can’t. They can divide their heart up and keep their lies straight without ever feeling bad about it.

I have some experience. I’ve been on both sides of this at one point or another. And I can’t say that one side was better than the other. Both are paths towards pain. The other woman will never have his whole heart, but at least they know that fact. The wife is unaware she is being neglected, although a part of her secretly nags that something is wrong.

But my real question is why do we let men do this to us? Why do we put up with being second in someone’s heart? Why do we beg and pleas with the cheater to come back to us again and again?

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