Sex and Tampa Bay

1. While trying to hang pictures, you realize you don’t own a hammer. So, instead you end up using a pair of heels to get the job done.

2. You consider reaching “Open Communication” on eharmony as a long term relationship.

3. The Chili’s Takeout Person recognizes your voice when you call and asks if you want “the usual”.

4. You don’t understand why your co-workers let the new mother come in late after the baby kept her up all night, but they won’t let you do the same thing after your kitten decides to attack your feet at 3AM.

5. You feel guilty for cheating on your regular vibrator with the big black one. Although, not guilty enough that you get rid of it.